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Why Not Me?
Cover of Why Not Me?
Why Not Me?
From the author of the beloved New York Times bestselling book Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? and the creator and star of The Mindy Project comes a collection of essays that are as hilarious and insightful as they are deeply personal.

In Why Not Me?, Kaling shares her ongoing journey to find contentment and excitement in her adult life, whether it's falling in love at work, seeking new friendships in lonely places, attempting to be the first person in history to lose weight without any behavior modification whatsoever, or most important, believing that you have a place in Hollywood when you're constantly reminded that no one looks like you.

In "How to Look Spectacular: A Starlet's Confessions," Kaling gives her tongue-in-cheek secrets for surefire on-camera beauty, ("Your natural hair color may be appropriate for your skin tone, but this isn't the land of appropriate--this is Hollywood, baby. Out here, a dark-skinned woman's traditional hair color is honey blonde.") "Player" tells the story of Kaling being seduced and dumped by a female friend in L.A. ("I had been replaced by a younger model. And now they had matching bangs.") In "Unlikely Leading Lady," she muses on America's fixation with the weight of actresses, ("Most women we see onscreen are either so thin that they're walking clavicles or so huge that their only scenes involve them breaking furniture.") And in "Soup Snakes," Kaling spills some secrets on her relationship with her ex-boyfriend and close friend, B.J. Novak ("I will freely admit: my relationship with B.J. Novak is weird as hell.")

Mindy turns the anxieties, the glamour, and the celebrations of her second coming-of-age into a laugh-out-loud funny collection of essays that anyone who's ever been at a turning point in their life or career can relate to. And those who've never been at a turning point can skip to the parts where she talks about meeting Bradley Cooper.
From the author of the beloved New York Times bestselling book Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? and the creator and star of The Mindy Project comes a collection of essays that are as hilarious and insightful as they are deeply personal.

In Why Not Me?, Kaling shares her ongoing journey to find contentment and excitement in her adult life, whether it's falling in love at work, seeking new friendships in lonely places, attempting to be the first person in history to lose weight without any behavior modification whatsoever, or most important, believing that you have a place in Hollywood when you're constantly reminded that no one looks like you.

In "How to Look Spectacular: A Starlet's Confessions," Kaling gives her tongue-in-cheek secrets for surefire on-camera beauty, ("Your natural hair color may be appropriate for your skin tone, but this isn't the land of appropriate--this is Hollywood, baby. Out here, a dark-skinned woman's traditional hair color is honey blonde.") "Player" tells the story of Kaling being seduced and dumped by a female friend in L.A. ("I had been replaced by a younger model. And now they had matching bangs.") In "Unlikely Leading Lady," she muses on America's fixation with the weight of actresses, ("Most women we see onscreen are either so thin that they're walking clavicles or so huge that their only scenes involve them breaking furniture.") And in "Soup Snakes," Kaling spills some secrets on her relationship with her ex-boyfriend and close friend, B.J. Novak ("I will freely admit: my relationship with B.J. Novak is weird as hell.")

Mindy turns the anxieties, the glamour, and the celebrations of her second coming-of-age into a laugh-out-loud funny collection of essays that anyone who's ever been at a turning point in their life or career can relate to. And those who've never been at a turning point can skip to the parts where she talks about meeting Bradley Cooper.
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Excerpts-
  • From the book One evening last year, I was onstage at a Q&A in Manhattan hosted by a magazine to discuss my life and career. This was one of those fancy events where ticket prices are high, and there's wine and cheese beforehand, and cocktails, but no real meal is served at any point. It made you wish you had just shushed the naysayers and brought three hot little sliders in your clutch to nibble at opportune moments. No one else seemed to mind the lack of food, though, because the theater was packed, primarily with an older, mostly white crowd.

    I was very tired. I had filmed a full week on the show, traveled on a red-eye from Los Angeles, done press all day, and arrived at the theater. It would be the last hurdle before I could go back to my hotel, take off my pants, and eat a room-service club sandwich while I watched syndicated reruns of The Big Bang Theory. Sheldon's sweetbazinga! would lull me to sleep, as is always my preference.

    At the end of the interview, the moderator opened the floor to the audience. I noticed that the small group of people who lined up to ask me questions looked very different from the majority of the crowd. They were mostly young women of color. After a few people went, a young Indian girl stepped forward to take the microphone. She looked about fifteen, and not only out of place in that crowd but also a little young to be asking a question in front of such a big audience. I think she felt it, too, because I could see from the stage that she was shaking. After a moment of nervous silence, she asked, "Mindy, where do you get your confidence? Because I feel like I used to have it when I was younger but now I don't."

    Context is so important. If this question had been asked by a white man, I might actually have been offended, because the subtext of it would have been completely different. When an adult white man asks me "Where do you get your confidence?" the tacit assumption behind it is: "Because you don't look like a person who should have any confidence. You're not white, you're not a man, and you're not thin or conventionally attractive. How were you able to overlook these obvious shortcomings to feel confident? "

    But this wasn't coming from a white man. This was coming from a vulnerable young girl who thought that maybe, when I was her age, I too had faced similar obstacles. All she wanted was guidance, or maybe a little empathy.

    My answer was not very good. My tiredness betrayed me, and I think I said something like: "Wow, I don't know. I think it's from my parents always telling me I could do anything. I wish I had a better answer for you." I wished her good luck, and she nodded politely and said thank you.

    When I get asked the same question over and over for years, the words of my answer begin to lose their meaning, even for me. Talking about confidence has become, to me, like listening to the flight attendant go through the in-flight passenger safety announcements. I could be leafing through a copy of American Way as I speak. I open my mouth and glib phrases like "supportive parents" and "strong sense of self" leak out. People seem mollified, but who knows? Maybe they are tuning me out too.

    As I watched her walk back to her seat, a wave of guilty regret hit me. This girl had done a lot to summon up the courage to ask a question, and she didn't even want anything in return other than my honest answer. She didn't want a selfie or for me to read her script, or to call her cousin's friend who loved The Office so she could tell me, "No, I loved Office Space. Were you in that? " She just wanted me to give her practical advice, and I answered in a way that was...
About the Author-
  • MINDY KALING lives in rural New Hampshire and does not own a TV.

Reviews-
  • Publisher's Weekly

    October 12, 2015
    In her second collection of personal essays, actor and comedy writer Kaling (Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)) offers readers a refreshing glimpse of her life of "(minor) fame" and the work that she did to get there. Hilariously titled essays are interspersed with candid photos of the star. Kaling's irreverent take on life is both uproariously funny and dead-on. The book is chock full of cultural commentary, from the rise of "small-plates restaurants" in Los Angeles to why stars pretend not to like sex scenes; Kaling skillfully blends highbrow with low in her trademark witty voice. While narrating personal episodes, such as when she met President Obama for the first time and almost fainted at his praise, Kaling skirts larger issues like her mother's death or her "weird" relationship with actor B.J. Novak. At times her self-deprecating tone suggests that the Ivy League graduate is fluff-headed, which, based on the contents of this book as well as her meteoric career, is obviously not true. Advice on a variety of topics—including why extensions make everyone more beautiful and how the world needs to start assuming that all young women are confident—make this an empowering and entertaining read.

  • Kirkus

    Light yet insightful personal essays from one of Hollywood's cleverest writers. Kaling (Is Everyone Hanging Out with Me?, 2011) dishes up another collection of humorous first-person essays on topics ranging from exposes borne of her insider's view on TV stardom]"Sex scenes are the tits"]to an inspirational speech she gave at Harvard Law School. Photographs interspersed throughout the book help underscore the author's kindly self-deprecating sense of humor and demonstrate her points about the stages of her typical 17-hour workday ("A Day in the Life of Mindy Kaling") or the value of having a flotilla of stylists prepare you for a photo shoot ("How to Look Spectacular: A Starlet's Confessions"). Fans of The Office and The Mindy Project will relish Kaling's snapshots from the writers' room and no-holds-barred depiction of the breakneck pace at which this writer/show-running actor lives while at work on her series. Readers less familiar with Kaling's TV exploits will also find interesting food for thought in more extended pieces examining friendship and varying levels of intimacy. Though the collection might easily be relegated to the shelves of chick-lit memoir for its bald appeal to young women or "a gay man getting a present for your even gayer friend," Kaling's reflections on her own self-image reveal an admirable depth of introspection. Particularly motivational is the volume's closing piece, in which the author calls out undeserved confidence: "Confidence is just entitlement...simply the belief that you deserve something. Which is great. The hard part is, you'd better make sure you deserve it." Having had to continually face the gauntlet of questions of what it's like enduring her Hollywood "otherness" due to her Indian origin, curvaceous figure, and willingness to speak the truth, Kaling espouses her hard-won mantra: "If you've got it, flaunt it. And if you don't got it? Flaunt it. 'Cause what are we even doing here if we're not flaunting it?" Intrepid and often irreverent, Kaling humbly probes her own triumphs and defeats with laugh-out-loud results. COPYRIGHT(1) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

  • Washington Post "Kaling has written a second book that's funnier, sharper and more confident than her 2011 collection of personal essays and pop culture riffs called Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns). Even the title of that initial effort implied that Kaling was trying to find her place; the tone of this new one announces that she's found it and is more than comfortable inviting people to spend time with her there."
  • USA Today "Funny, thoughtful essays and anecdotes written in the star's trademark voice. But this time around, things are just little more grown-up...This is Kaling at the height of her power."
  • Associated Press "Mindy Kaling may be gearing up for the fourth season of her TV show, The Mindy Project, but that didn't deter her from writing another wildly entertaining and completely relatable book... Her first memoir, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns), spent time on several best-seller lists. Why Not Me? will certainly follow in its footsteps."
  • Entertainment Weekly, A- "Hilarious...Kaling knows her strengths, and plays to them brilliantly...Aside from that effortlessly conversational tone and her pitch-perfect humor, Kaling's biggest strength here is curatorial. She gives us the candy we came for – the advice, the anecdotes, the straight talk on body image – but sprinkles in something extra."
  • Refinery29 "Why Not Me? is all that we've come to expect from the creator and star of The Mindy Project: refreshing, confident, genuine, and, yes, absolutely hilarious."
  • Publishers Weekly
    "Kaling's irreverent take on life is both uproariously funny and dead-on...Advice on a variety of topics--including why extensions make everyone more beautiful and how the world needs to start assuming that all young women are confident--make this an empowering and entertaining read."
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